What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why is the word "democracy" not in the preamble of the US Constitution?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you mean son?

Delta Force selection is originally based on SAS selection, so why is there no brutal jungle phase for Delta Force? It seems like it's based only on the Brecon Beacons section.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Is it true that schizophrenia can sometimes be a demonic attack or black magic?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you think the beginning of movies is often better than the rest of the film? Is this a common opinion or do others share this view?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”